Saturday, December 25, 2010

Ikea Wood

I once had a girl
Or should I say
She once had me?
She showed me her room:
"Isn't it good
Ikea wood?"

She asked me to stay
And words of affection were spoken.
But I looked around
And I noticed my condom was broken.

Cops sat on her rug
Wasting their time
Hearing her whine.
They talked until two
Then the cops said,
"Let's put this to bed."

She told me she'd worked in the US
And wanted an Aids test.
I said I was busy and flew off to face
A big talk-fest.

And when I awoke
I couldn't get a loan
My credit was blown.
So I got a lawyer.
It's no bloody good,
Ikea wood.

(Apologies to John Lennon, but I'm sure he would understand).

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